Neuro-Wellbeing & The Developing Self

Have you ever pored over books, websites, or online studies about your brain and mental health, but when you need someone to listen to your concerns, there’s no one there? How hard is it to have all this knowledge about exactly what is hurting you, but there’s complete apathy? Today, we’re going to talk about the brain and the mind. How they work in correspondence, and how you can support your mental health in small ways when others aren’t listening.

1. The Brain is the creator of the mind.

We all know our brain is an organ. A lot of people believe that mental health issues come only from chemical imbalances, or unlucky wiring, and thus that our brains are unfixable when we suffer mental health challenges. However, this could not be more false. Our brains are extremely sensitive, and remarkable, and while brains that have neurobiological dysregulation is a very present factor for mental health issues, sometimes the worst anxiety or depressive moods come from no one being there to care.

I had read a very popular book last year called “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” By Dale Carnegie. A big idea from the book— and a relative quote—stood out to me “The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature”. Several areas of the brain are destined for this urge. When we feel that people are acknowledging us, the ventral tegmental area releases dopamine, which teaches the brain to want to repeat this occurrence. Similarly, when we don’t feel listened to, or when we feel unimportant, pain centers like the anterior cingulate cortex process emotional rejection exactly like how you’d experience a physical injury. Have you ever been in a white haze? You can’t think straight, your feet feel wobbly on the ground, and your stomach churns. These are all signals from the brain, that you seriously need someone to listen to you, and care. Once you start caring about yourself, and not letting others push you around, you’ll start to regard yourself as important.

2. The Biggest factor that makes our minds skeptical of healing.

Fear. True, crippling fear that wraps around you and takes control of all your behavioral sanity. There’s a beautiful quote from L.M. Montgomery’s blue castle—My favourite literary fiction— “Fear is the original sin. Almost all the evil in the world has its origin in the fact that some one is afraid of something. It is a cold, slimy serpent coiling about you. It is horrible to live with fear; and it is of all things degrading”. That’s exactly how the brain views fear. Often times, we feel too afraid to stand up for ourselves, or to find someone who will listen when we’ve been rejected countless times. Our brains, become so overwhelmed with fear, that we are too skeptical of healing. There’s too many people in our minds that have hurt us, brought us down, or refused to listen to us when we just need someone to feel our pain. It’s vitally important to come out of fear, because you are the person that has to shoulder the burdens when you shut yourself out. I know that it’s difficult, but don’t let yourself get stuck in fear.

3. Ways we can support our mental health when feeling alone in the world…

The best ways to support your mental health is to get the dopamine flowing in small self-satisfied ways. Remember, when your brain sees that you can be satisfied with your own person, it will remember that and reinforce it. This is expressed the quote: “If you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone.”

That is not at all to say that you should only rely on yourself for mental well-being, but it is to say that you are a very important person in your life, and you should never underestimate that. Neurologists emphasize the important of rewiring. You need to relabel, reattribute, refocus, and revalue every negative perspective in your life, so you don’t get stuck in a rut of self-hatred. You hate the sadness, and tragedies that have occurred in your life, but your mind it will eventually express yourself in a way until it makes you blame yourself. Thoughts like, “There must be something wrong with me for nobody to like me.” are proof of this. Claim your positive attributes and your uniqueness. Find the good in yourself, because there is always something there.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, it’s devastating to go down rabbit holes, and have nobody who listens. Trust me, I know how hard it is to believe it’ll “All work out.” In the midst of your struggles, just know that regarding yourself as important is the first step to getting out of that ditch.

Until Next time,

-R.J.