What’s your general outlook on life and situations? If you typically see everything in a negative view, you could be considered a pessimist. How about seeing things in a positive view? Maybe you’re a optimist. Maybe you just see things exactly how they are, with logic and point of view. These outlooks of life and situations all counter our neuro-well being and developing self. Let’s indulge further into exactly what these mean and why it has been chosen for us specifically as individuals.
Pessimistic behaviour can typically form from negative life experiences and traumatic events, betrayal or negligence within the social aspect, and even genetics and mood disorders. If you typically view or almost always find the bad in a situation regardless of how hopeless it may be, think about what exactly drives that naturality. Maybe you grew up with pessimistic parents, who constantly shared and vocalized their negative outlooks on every situation, even specific situations. Is your first instinct towards rich people that all of them are hypocritical? Maybe you personally suffered from bullying or a trauma or an abuse that created that instinctual reaction or even defense in you.
Optimistic behaviour has a similar influential pattern. You could essentially become an optimist by having positive life experiences, extreme support and or comfortability within the social aspect, genetics, etc. Sometimes optimism is a difficult but beneficial choice you have to train with the development of self. You’ve most probably heard the metaphor “Glass half-full versus Glass half-empty.” An optimistic person would see the glass as being half-full, focusing on what they have that’s positive rather then what they lack. A pessimistic person would focus on the negative disappointment of the glass being half-empty, focusing on what’s not fulfilling and beneficial.
Realist behaviour focuses on exactly what you can see as opposed to trying to make the best or worst of a situation. Life experiences consisting of hardships and challenges and loss, as well as growth, development, and achievement can cause a person to be a realist. Maybe you were optimistic before you lost someone you loved, now you see the world as unpredictable as it is, and acknowledge death so heartachingly.
Personally speaking, I was quite quick to trust any person I came in contact with, until I suffered from betrayal and bullying. I then started viewing things with a realistic perspective. Maybe you’ve started your own business or overcame a situation where you didn’t have enough to provide for yourself, you may start viewing things matter-of factly, or a pragmatic approach to work and resource. The realist view the glass half-water half air. Realism involves viewing the glass impartially. Seeing a situation exactly how it is rather than what one wishes it could be what one loves or hates of it.
In review, sometimes when we experience lack of neuro-wellbeing we can be drawn to change our outlooks of life, like starting as an optimist but becoming influenced into pessimism. Psychologically, we can experience a learning process called “Classic Conditioning” it causes a previously content or neutral stimulus to be accompanied or associated with a stimulus that demands or triggers a response.
The Little Albert Experiment1
In 1920, A university professor named Dr. John B. Watson wanted to test classic conditioning, a volunteered 9-month old toddler referred to as “Albert B” was directed to play with white furry objects. Initially, Albert showed love and affection and displayed contentment while playing with these objects, but as the experiment played out, Dr. Watson would create a loud noise behind Albert’s head to scare him every time he played with the furry white objects. After several repetition, the child was conditioned to be frightened by white furry objects. The experiment was conclusive to prove that humans are conditioned to to like or hate, enjoy and fear something based on life experiences.
In conclusion, our brains are highly intelligent, responsive, and impactful. It’s very difficult to move forward from a hard life experience that drives us towards pessimism, or causes us to lose our child-like hopeful thinking. With the right therapy and support, we can train our minds to become the most powerful version of ourselves, and it all starts with the developing self.
– R.J.
October 3rd 2025
References
Neuro-Wellbeing & The Developing Self 
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